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风流乐趣
《风流乐趣》风月场中毛女、云雨帐内将军，二人但遇就相争，不顾忘身丧命一个喜钻窍寻孔，一个喜啖肉吞□。要知胜败与输赢，且听下回词咏诗曰：散闷无拘不作忙，只凭谈笑度时光。聊将大艳风流传，说与知音笑一场。话说乌将军与毛洞主的故事。这将军生在脐下，长在腰州，姓乌名龟，表字骨轮，列号风月散人。其性有刚柔兼济之才，其身有变化多端之术，弄手段能缩能伸，显威风可小可大。喜时节似铁加钢掘上而掘下，闷来时如绵去种倒东而倒西。窃玉偷香，不亚于西厢张珙；取勇当先，胜似那江东楚王。莫道不可将凡比圣，圣凡皆赖此物而生。忽一日，奉□太保命令，兵前往裸人县，剿捕毛洞中女寇走一遭。唱：一边点动人和马，炮响三声离了老营。抗枪舞棒军呐喊，叉手趋脚将威风。碗子盔边生紫雾，龟背壳上蚌青□。这一去，高山峻岭堂条路，铁壁墙撞透明在路行程多风景，中间少带骨碑名。将军挂印俱人马，正马军随拗马军。兵似群鸦来噪△，将如楚汉惯争锋。这一去揉碎梅花诚妙手，噼破莲蓬手歪断根。鳅如菱窝钻到底，双龙入海定成功。短枪刺开格子眼，双弹打破锦屏风。只用孤红一拈香肌俏，引得我临老入花丛。过了九溪十八洞，见了些金菊到芙蓉。剑行十里人马进，不觉春分昼夜停。对对蓝旗报回玉，拍马已到黑松林两乳尖幽屯驷马，杜家在上扎辕营。中间揭起青衿帐，五爪将军两下分。坐下腰州□太保，捉下能争惯战人。话说□太保便问：“是何人出马？”声音未竟，只见黑松林下闪出一将，生得粗粗大大，又不细细长长。要知此将住何方，腰州府成群结党。道：“末将不才，出马一遭，不兵卒，只须二子。”一骑马冲出营来，但见洞门外好景：阴崖险峻，玄孔深幽；两行黑松掩映，一股清水奔流；前尖后长，犹如边城围绕；中间水发，恰似湖海汪洋。观不尽洞门好景，高叫：“红心小卒，报与你毛洞主得知，叫她强将出马，弱将休来！”<br />这小校不听便罢，既然听说，即到里面声言：“祸事！外边有一独目将军，甚是雄将，声声叫杀，句句不饶。”毛洞主听说，带水手，身出洞来。且看来将如何排兵，怎生打扮：戴一顶紫巍巍一抹耿不呆的檐盔，披一细毛织就的乌油龟背铠，使一根光筋缠就□木炳的点钢枪，骑一匹追风赶日惯战竖头马。这将军更看那女怎生模样，如何装束：她生得丹△眼，悬胆；一张没牙口、<br />两片粉红唇；戴一顶前尖后长荷包样扁食盔，披一里红外白、青边黑缝两片顽皮甲，使一条不伸不缩明伤人、暗埋伏紫金□，骑一匹能颠惯跛赤眼清大口无头马。问知：“来将通名，不消问吾。”言：“乃是威镇腰州乌将军是也！今奉腰州□太保命令，兵讨伐作乱淫寇早早下马受降，免遭千戳万岛之苦。若是牙崩半个不字，凭着俺景东人马大披挂的将军，填凿洞口，杀进子宫，拿住你等，刺血饮马，取髓补精，那时悔之晚矣！”这女子微微冷笑，答曰：“但见你人物标致，未知你出马鏖战如何？此时休要逞罗罗，管叫你一会儿刚强性过，那时节洞门伏首，休教二子来拖。直杀你人困马乏要求和，那时方才怕我！”这将军也不答话，两手拈定光金似铁硬的独龙枪，照着那女子分心就刺。这女子也不慌，也不忙，△点头侧身躲过，取出五采盘桓锦皮套数，及驾相还，两下皮鼓打动，怎见得好杀。唱：你与你主争自在，我与我主助风情。你使懒汉推车法，我使驾牯去催更倒浇蜡烛身流汗，隔山讨火洞门红。正是两家盘桓处，中间捎带果子名。两个栗子答了话，一对枇杷大争锋。只爱平坡员眼口，金桔怀内有风菱。怠杏高时莲子放，胶枣乌梅紧皱纹。小红染污葡萄被，樱桃口内咬橙丁。柿脸儿通红了，榄橄回味各人心。只战得月暗秋窗嫌夜短，风吹竹径恨更钟。第一合才用机关无胜负；第二合再加手段见输赢；第三合打起精神嗷战久；第四合看看筋力不从心。当时恼了毛洞主，怒发冲冠起歹心：“我今若不显手段，乐得冤家丢精神。”口里念动妖邪咒，款款轻轻叫了几声。金莲高峰两腿里，悠悠戏沟洞红心乌将不识轻生计，尽力具兵重扑门。佳人见来心内喜，放出大水要淹人。五爪将军忙来展，怎当他急浪滔滔里外生。烟漫阴崖傍岸柳，撞塌洞口正当松常言道：势硬难熬软。话不虚传果是真。三略六韬虽是晓，二十四解欠分明怎当他手歪上手歪下来得快，左别右扭不饶人。翻身再摆龙翻里，拿住将军胯下存。腰腿困难咂争，手软心忙没了神。再着一会儿不丢了跑，定死在佳人手相中。幸亏二子多能干，倒把将军拉出洞门，虚点一枪逃了命，到底难熬久战人前走的厌头塌脑腰间将，后赶的跛口张牙再兴兵。一身英雄随流水，五陵豪气逐东风。好似勐风吹败叶，犹如急雨打残红。雨散云收鸳帐冷，香消风尽绣楼空。编成毛女乌龟传，说与风流子弟听。[本帖最后由遨游东方于编辑]<br />
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